19th March - Practice Consultation Panel. That is an extra panel for me because of my Interim report.

23rd March - Practice Assessment Panel. That is the one that everybody's reports go to.

So...I have 8 days left on my placement. I was supposed to be meeting on Tuesday with my two supervisors to discuss my progress and the final report, but one of them can't make it so it has to be rearranged.

I know I'm doing so much better, but I don't know, and they don't know, if anything will be able to overcome the Interim report.

I'm still enjoying the placement, although not as much as I would be if all this wasn't hanging over me. I've got more clients to key-work and am finishing off a project on the review process that I've been doing since I started.

I'm trying to organise a visit for me and some clients to another centre's sensory room, because we need new equipment for ours and want to get an idea of what other places have. Unfortunately, the guy I need to speak to never seems to be in his office, and he hasn't returned my calls when I've left a message.

Tomorrow I'm doing a 4-week review for a client. What started out as just me and him has now grown to include his wife and his social worker, as well as my practice teacher, who will be observing me so we can write it up for the final report. I'm trying not to get too nervous about it, but I probably will be by tomorrow lunch time.

I've sent off an application form to do more voluntary work in the summer. I figure that if I don't pass this placement, I will have to wait to do another one, and if I do, I won't get a job straight away. So at the moment I have two weeks of voluntary work planned, on holidays with two children's charities, and I'm applying to shadow a doctor for a week at the local hospital. When i qualify I'd like to work in a hospice, or a hospital, but I thought it would be good to make the effort to shadow different professionals. Also, if I do decide to try and pursue medicine in the future, it will be experience for that as well.

I'm trying to stay positive, I can't do another until the 19th when I need to go into the Panel and show them that I'm competent and ready to qualify.

I'm having a bit of my crisis on my placement. I'm supposed to have 7 days left, but my tutor is trying to arrange for it to be extended so I can show I'm meeting all of the Key Roles. I keep making a joke of it, saying that it wouldn't be a placement for me if there wasn't a crisis in it somewhere, but in reality I'm terrified. I've come so far, worked so hard to get to this point, I've already spent far too long on his course, there's so much I want to do when I qualify, and I can't even face thinking about the possibility of putting everything on hold again.
I've given myself a good kick up the arse, though. It's only a few weeks, I just need to focus on one thing at a time. Which means no shifts, which obviously means no wages.
Unfortunately I have to do my Biology coursework. I should have handed in the rough draft last week, but sent her half of what I should have on Friday. It's going, but very slowly. But that can always be re-done. It's all about priorities, as I keep telling myself, as everyone else keeps telling me.
So my dissertation is on hold, my Placement Project is on hold, thinking about my final portfolio is on hold. Thinking about anything but my placement, and what I have to do now for Biology (if I gave up on the course now I'd lose way too much money to even consider doing that) and focus, focus, focus.